Before college, I went to church with family and I believed in God. 

At college two of the standard required courses were social studies and natural science. Social studies was interesting ...especially since it implied that our government was not always what it appeared to be. Natural science was interesting when it talked about evolution ...and mostly about how our continents evolved as a result of continental drift. I found it very interesting that the tectonic plates fit together like a puzzle ...especially with South America fitting neatly into Africa.

At college I had a full course load, so couldn't concentrate too much on any one subject. To 'get the grade', I had to more or less regurgitate what they were teaching.

I kept many of the college books, so it wasn't until after college that I could spend more time reading the text of what interested me. And that's when it hit me ...how incompatible it all was with what I believed about God. I had never felt humans evolved, but rather were created by God, and I realized that though the tectonic plates fit, nothing else did.

I felt that with evolution, everything was said to have evolved from something else ...but, with evolution if we imagine the something is small enough, and we can't see it, then we have difficulty describing it ...so, we let someone else do that part (the experts). But, the experts don't include God. And by scientific standards, neither evolution or God can exist ...but, here we are 'existing'.

So, something has to operate outside of our scientific thinking. And that something cannot be scientific. As a child I was taught to believe in God, but as an adult ...I was at a crossroads, and God has always given me direction.

Three decades before I was to marry the daughter of a wonderful man named Kenneth, two other Kenneth's were trying to change the way of life of a great number of people, but not in a great way as I view it. My father-in-law had a great influence on my life, but these other two did not. I heard of these other two when I was out of college ...and these men were instrumental in changing the definition of 'faith'. And I didn't like the instrumental, nor did I like the song being sung.

I had two close friends who said their Grandma was I'll and needed prayer. I listened to them, though didn't ask who it was they were listening to for their prayer support. I do very clearly recall them following the 'name it, claim it' teaching. And when they 'claimed' Grandma's healing, they informed their religious guidance teachers that Grandma was not getting better. They told them the precise 'words' to pray ...and they precisely said their prayer as instructed. Grandma did not get better, she died ...and they were told it was because they did not have enough 'faith'.

At that point, I felt what my friends were being told was spiritual abuse. I think of how these leaders were providing their wise counsel and it reminds me of Job's friends. 

(John 9:1-3) As He was passing along, He saw a man who had been blind from birth. And His disciples asked Him: “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, so that he was born blind?” Jesus answered: “Neither this man sinned nor his parents, but it was so that the works of God might be made manifest in his case."

I also think of the Gospel according to Matthew, Chapter 17, verses 20 & 21 ---where Jesus said faith the size of a mustard seed could move mountains.

A mountain seems immovable, yet it does shake and rock does fall. Yet, it is not faith moving mountains in the 6th Chapter of the Book of Revelation, it is fear moving them and asking the rocks to fall to hide them (from God).

We have to take the entire Bible in mind ...if we want to understand it all. We should not have faith in what we claim, we humans claiming what should be. We should have faith in Him at all times, including when He doesn't seem to be doing what we had hoped for.

There are many types of faith, and many areas where faith is assigned to. We can have faith in many things. I believe having faith in God is the only way ...not in what we want Him to do, but in Him.

The Bible clearly tells us about the Father.

We clearly see the Son ...Jesus.

And we seek out understanding through the Holy Spirit.

Yes, faith in God ...not faith in human expectations. Thinking otherwise is something I view as very problematic.

I really like Max Lucado's children's books, and we've read them to our children over the years. I recently moved beyond that ...and read one of his adult books. I can't remember the title of the book, but the favorite quote from the book compares 'powerboat' faith with 'rowboat' faith.

If I look back at the years I began to pay attention (after college), and I saw who many people saw as having 'powerboat' faith. And some of those people still today follow their examples. I'm not someone who typically follows polls, so I don't know who is still in that camp of believers ...but, though were big camps at that time, there are smaller camps that are a cause for concern also. The 'name it, claim it' groups had leaders who were certainly viewed by many as a 'powerboat' faith leaders ...the 'prosperity gospel'.

No offence to anyone, but they were never my faith leaders. If they are the standard then I would rather be in a rowboat with some of my friends who are struggling ...and as we together row through life, we can relate to others who are doing the same. I imagine Jesus also being in the boat, and telling us not to row too vigorously or we will scare all the fish. Similarly, if we are to be 'fishers of men', we don't want to scare people off either, or make others feel out-of-touch by our powering about the troubled waters of our lives. Nor do I imagine we should use a shiny lure with much tempting action as we reel them in.

To me, the 'faith' moments are often when we wonder why things are not happening, perhaps doubting and wondering who cares ...and then coming to the realization that God does things in His own time, in His own way, and sometimes contrary to what we'd expect. But, God does not counter His own character, nor break His promises to us.

The main confusion that I've seen is in the understanding of His promises to us in this life. We often look to 'faith' to see things happen. Yet, when they don't happen, or they don't happen as we have prayed ...then there is a confusion, doubt, and sadly often a falling away. In the Gospel According to John, Chapter 20, verse 29, Jesus says: "Blessed are they who have not seen, and yet have believed."

We have not seen the promises that are set for us in eternity with Him ...the unimaginable beauty and wonder of the afterlife, in Heaven. Yet, have 'faith' that it is true ...as that is truly faith.